About empathy.....................

When we make a mistake, we attribute it to circumstances that pushed us into doing it.  But when others make a mistake, we tend to see it as a character flaw, as something that flowed from their imperfect personality.  This is know as the attribution bias.  You must work against this.  With an empathic attitude, you consider first the circumstances that might have made a person do what they did, giving them the same benefit of the doubt as you give yourself.
   Finally, adopting this attitude depends on the quality of your self-love.  If you feel terribly superior to others, or gripped by insecurities, your moments of empathy and absorption in people will be shallow.  What you need is a complete acceptance of your character, including your flaws, which you can see clearly but even appreciate and love.  You are not perfect.  You are not an angel.  You have the same nature as others.  With this attitude, you can laugh at yourself and let slights wash over you.  From a position of genuine inner strength and resilience, you can more easily direct your attention outward,

-Robert Green,  The Laws Of Human Nature, from the  chapter The Law of Narcissism