Rob LaZebnik (Who? A writer for The Simpsons) demolishes your graduation ceremony (without even attending one) with this dandy imaginary speech. Excerpt here:
I believe that because most commencement speakers have been so successful, they think they can identify the ingredients that led them to success. But they tend to discount the major role that simple good fortune and timing played in their prosperity. So I advise you to ignore all the clichés of the typical commencement speech and do what your generation does best: get lucky
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