Either-or versus both-and.......

    "Transcend either-or thinking by introducing both-and phrases into your thought and speech.  Integrate the spectrum.  Look for sets of complementary opposites that fit together to form a single integrated whole.  Acknowledge the way a person can be both a friend and adversary, both smart and foolish, both compassionate and cruel, both rational and impulsive.  Weapons can both start and prevent war, the universe can be both friendly and unfriendly."
-Frank Rivers, The Way of the Owl