Opening paragraphs...............

Matilda Jane Roberts was naked as the air.  Known throughout south Texas as the Great Western, she came walking up from the muddy Rio Grande holding a big snapping turtle by the tail.  Matilda was almost as large as the skinny little Mexican mustang Gus McCrae and Woodrow Call were trying to saddle-break.  Call had the mare by the ears, waiting for Gus to pitch the saddle on her narrow back, but the pitch was slow in coming.  When Call glanced toward the river and saw the Great Western in all her plump nakedness, he knew why:  young Gus McCrae was by nature distractable; the sight of a naked, two-hundred-pound whore carrying a full-grown snapping turtle has captured his complete attention, and that of the rest of the Ranger troop as well.
-Larry McMurtry, Dead Man's Walk