Sunday, July 8, 2012

Foodies of the World, Unite......

Go visit Fuck You, Broccoli and learn more fun stuff about veggies than you thought possible.  A wee sampling:
Dear Lentils,
I get it.
You’re nutritious and packed with protein. You cost like two bucks a silo. You keep forfucking ever. You’re like Nature’s Perfect Food, except for one, small, niggling detail: You taste like a road accident. Not a drive-by, minor-injuries, share insurance cards and get on our way accident either, but one of those haunting ones that lingers, like when a school bus with a drunken driver shoots over a median and into a hearse which stopped to let by a family of baby ducks. Such an awful, sad, waste which didn’t have to happen if people would only have made better choices.
The color of sludge and the texture of recently moulted beetle casings, you lentils are nevertheless pushed on us regularly as a universal good, as if donuts and chocolate and macadamia nuts never existed. As if the only purpose food served was to nourish, with no regard for aesthetics or deliciousness at all. 

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