Sunday, July 17, 2022


 As an extension of our positivity/consumer culture, many of us have been "indoctrinated" with the belief that we should try to be as inherently accepting and affirmative as possible.  This is a cornerstone of many of the so-called positive thinking books: open yourself up to opportunities, be accepting, say yes to everything and everyone, and so on.

     But we need to reject something.  Otherwise, we stand for nothing.  If nothing is better or more desirable than anything else, then, we are empty and our live is meaningless.  We are without values and therefore live our life without any purpose. . . .

     The act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative values.  If I choose to make my marriage the most important part of my life, that means I'm (probably) choosing not to make cocaine-fueled hooker orgies an important part of my life.  If I'm choosing to judge myself based on my ability to have open and accepting friendships, that means I'm rejecting trashing my friends behind their backs.  These are healthy decisions, yet they require rejection at every turn.

      The point is this: we all must give a fuck about something, in order to value something.  And to value something, we must reject what is not that something.  To value X, we must reject non-X.

      That rejection is an inherent and necessary part of maintaining our values, and therefore our identity.  We are defined by what we choose to reject.

-Mark Manson, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*uck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life

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