Opening paragraphs..........................

     It seems implausible that a youngster named Rufus Roosevelt Ritchy would be a Junior.  How could parents brand a baby boy with the life-long burden of such a name?  To understand how Rufus Roosevelt Ritchy, Junior got his name, it is necessary to know something about his parents.  He was born on Memorial Day in 1961 in the Community Hospital in Gaston, Iowa to father, Rufus Roosevelt  (Rosie) Ritchy and mother, Mildred Compton (Ditsy) Ritchy.  After a rather difficult delivery, Rosie and Ditsy Ritchy had the simple task of naming their newborn son.  But, if the facts were known, nothing came very easily to the Ritchy family.  Rosie had his heart set on naming his first-born son after him and Ditsy detested his name.   She was of the opinion that the baby should be named Maelstrom Marmaduke after her estranged father.  As was typical of them, the argument commenced before the birth, through the protracted labor and continued several days after the boy was born.  Those who knew the Ritchys contended that the argument probably began before or even during conception.  The hospital staff pressed them to name the baby so that the birth certificate could be completed.  Suffering from the throes of postpartum depression, Ditsy cried and screamed defiantly that no son of hers would ever be called "Rufus or Rosie".  On the other hand, Rosie firmly insisted that it was his life-long dream to sire a son named after him.  And so, the argument raged on for several days until a compromise was reached.  Ditsy reluctantly agreed to name the kid Rufus Roosevelt Ritchy, Junior so long as he would be called "Junior".  Rosie agreed to call him Junior until he was grown up and had children of his own.  That was how Junior Ritchy was named and began what was to become a very bizarre life.
-Guy Sitler, The Pig Skin Prodigy

Ed. Note:  Guy Sitler is our down-the-street-and around-the-corner neighbor.  He has shown great kindness to my Sweetie.  The least I can do is read his books.