Henry Wheeler Shaw had a way with words. You are apt to come across his one of his sayings about anywhere. Born in 1818 and the son, and grandson, of a Congressman, Shaw got tossed out of college for prankish behavior. As a writer and humorist, he rivaled Mark Twain in popularity in his day. You can read more about him here. He is perhaps best known by his alter ego, Josh Billings. If you like phonetic English, you will love Josh Billings. A whole host of his saying are here. A few samples here:
The wealth ov a person should be estimated, not bi the amount he haz, but bi the use he makes ov it.
"Familiarity breeds kontempt." This only applies tew men, not tew hot bukwheat slapkakes, well buttered and sugared.
If we would all ov us take kare ov our own souls, and let our nabors alone, thare would be less time lost, and more souls saved.
As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.