expanded minds...........................

       Lucy was especially homesick for her family and the gaiety of her life of just a few years earlier.  She felt out of place in Connecticut, where the people, she thought, lacked gentility and displayed coarse manners and unrefined behavior.  Henry advised her: "Take care, my love of permitting your disgust to the Connecticut people to escape your lips.  Indiscreet expressions are handed from town to town and a long while remembered by people not blessed with expanded minds.  The want of that refinement which you seem to speak of is, or will be, the salvation of America; for refinement of manners introduces corruption and venality. . . . There is a kind of simplicity in young states as in young children which is quite pleasing to an attentive observer."

-Mark Puls, Henry Knox: Visionary General of the American Revolution

On choosing wisely.................

 Choose wisely.   Keep doing the things your Mom and Grandma taught you. Use your manners. Be polite. Say please and thank you. Wait your turn. Don’t interrupt. Share with others. Be a good friend.  Oh yeah, and build relationships, solve problems, and have fun.

-Sean Carpenter, from here

On manners.............................

      Technology, it might be said, by providing machines to do what used to be done by hand . . . has complicated our lives in as many ways as it has simplified and enriched them . . . but in committing ourselves to machine control we have sacrificed many of the pleasures of self-control—of manners, if you wish. . . .

      Now and then someone I have just met, avoiding false coziness, calls me "Mr. Lynes."  I am as astonished as I am pleased, but it's my age and white hair that evokes it.  I think of a story told by Dame May Witty, the distinguished actress, who was in a London shop and was being waited on by an uppity salesgirl (there are two words that have vanished) who was offhand and rude.  Dame May, piqued, said, "I suppose you know who I am," and the clerk replied, "Certainly."  To which the actress said, "I suppose you think you're as good as I am," and the girl said, "Of course."  "Then why," Dame May said, " can't you be civil to your equals?"

      Civility is, of course, the root and branch of manners . . .

-Russell Lynes, from his 1986 essay, On Good Behavior, found here

Symptoms................................

"Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms ... but a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness.   Bad manners.   Lack of consideration for others in minor matters.   A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.   This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health, but as proof of his/her strength.” 

-Robert Heinlein,  Friday

Parenting..............................

Deacon and Arnold Palmer

I've always had a fairly easygoing disposition.  But in my younger days would wouldn't have known it if you'd seem me on the golf course.  Something significant happened to me in 1946 that really changed how I went about my business on the golf course.
     My mother and father were on hand to watch my match in the West Penn Junior finals.  At one juncture I missed a short putt, something that infuriated me.  (It still does.)  In frustration, I flung my putter in disgust over the gallery and some small trees.  I won the title, but you wouldn't have known it on the car ride home.  I was met with stone silence.  Finally, my father spoke up.  "If you ever throw a club like that again, you'll never play in another golf tournament."
     I knew he was serious.  To Pap, there was nothing worse than a poor loser - except being an ungracious winner. ... I never threw another club again.

-Arnold Palmer,  A Life Well Played:  My Stories

On manners................

................................"he is guilty of a great impoliteness."

All things in moderation.....(including moderation)

via

Well, yeah............................................

courtesy of

Courtesies.............................

Are you talking to me............?

Afraid he might be.  Trying to change..........honest.

Eagerly..................................

A gentleman never makes himself the center of attention.  His goal it to make life easier, not just for himself but for his friends, his acquaintances, and the world at large.
     Because he is a gentleman, he does not see this as a burden.  Instead, it is a challenge he faces eagerly every day.
-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):   A Timely Guild to Timeless Manners

Eternal..............................

         10 Eternal Truths of the Gentlemanly Life

1.  A gentleman says "please" and "thank you" readily and often.

2.  A gentleman does not disparage the beliefs of others - whether they relate to matters of faith, politics, or sports teams.

3.  A gentleman always carries a handkerchief, and is ready to lend it, especially to a weeping lady, should the need arise.

4.  A gentleman never allows a door to slam in the face of another person - male or female, young or old, absolute stranger or longtime best friend.

5.  A gentleman does not make jokes about race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, neither does he find such jokes amusing.

6.  A gentleman knows how to stand in line and wait his turn.

7.  A gentleman is always ready to offer a hearty handshake.

8.  A gentleman keeps his leather shoes polished and his fingernails clean.

9.  A gentleman admits when he is wrong.

10. A gentleman does not pick a fight.

-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):  A Timely Guide To Timeless Manners

Serving............................

Any gentleman may have friends who do not drink alcohol.  Whatever the reason for that choice - religious belief, addiction, or other health concerns - a gentleman respects it.  He does not pressure anyone to drink;  neither does he ask probing questions.  When he is serving as a host, in his own home or a restaurant, he makes certain that his non-drinking friends have plenty of appealing nonalcoholic options.
     If a gentleman chooses not to drink alcohol, he does not impose that decision on other people.  If he is offered a cocktail, he may say, "Thanks, but I don't drink alcohol.  I'd like a soda or some sparkling water - whatever you have handy."  He offers no further explanation.
-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):  A Timely Guide To Timeless Manners

Believes..........................

In matters of politics or religion, a gentleman does not assume that everyone believes what he believes.
-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):  A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

Necessary.......................

A gentleman clips his nose hairs and the unsightly hairs in his ears.  As he grows older, he may also find it necessary to trim his eyebrows.
-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):  A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

Moves on................................

If an apology is sincerely offered, a gentleman accepts it with good grace.  He does not pretend that the offense never existed, but he considers it history and moves on.  He does not harbor grudges.
-How To Be A Gentleman (Revised and Expanded):  A Timely Guide To Timeless Manners

A gentleman...................

When a gentleman outgrows his clothes, he gives them away to charity.  He does not pretend that someday he will lose weight.  When, and if, he does lose weight, he certainly will not want to celebrate by wearing out-of-date coats and trousers.
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After he has sent an e-mail message to a personal friend, a gentleman does not assume that his friend will respond to him within twenty-four hours.
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A gentleman may not be able to dance a samba, but he should be capable of a box step, which is almost like not dancing at all.

-as excerpted from How To Be A Gentleman:  A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

Quit f#%@*>! calling me..............

Apparently us Ohioans have forgotten (or never learned) our manners.  Full story here.  The almost conclusion here:

"You could also argue Ohioans are simply transparent, passionate people. Maybe we do curse a little more and maybe we don’t mind our Ps and Qs as much as we should. So what? At least you know how we feel."
via
cartoon via