One of the glories of.............................

............the Intertunnel is how quickly, and easily, one can find the original source, and context, of favorite things.  Last Friday's post, How To Be Perfect......, contained a list of thirty-three ways to make life a little better.    My source for the post indicated that the list was merely an excerpt from the original.  Curious, Amazon was consulted.   Today's mail brought me my very own copy of a book of poems by Ron Padgett, titled, aptly enough, How to Be Perfect.  The poem, How to Be Perfect, is actually a list of ninety-nine ways to make life a little better.   As a public service, here are another thirty-three:

Don't give advice.

Take care of your teeth and gums.

Know that the desire to be perfect is probably the veiled expression of another desire - to be loved, or not to die.

Make eye contact with a tree.

Be skeptical about all opinions, but try to see some value in each of them.

Dress in a way that pleases both you and those around you.

Do not speak quickly.

Learn something every day.

Be loyal.

Design your activities so that they show a pleasing balance and variety.

Be kind to old people, even when they are obnoxious.  When you become old, be kind to young people.  Do not throw your cane at them when they call you grandpa.  They are your grandchildren!

Live with an animal.

If you need help ask for it.

Cultivate good posture until it becomes natural.

Look at that bird over there.

Sing every once in a while.

Walk upstairs.

Do not wander through train stations muttering, "We're all going to die!"

Appreciate simple pleasures, such as the pleasure of chewing, the pleasure of warm water running down your back, the pleasure of a cool breeze, the pleasure of falling asleep.

Enjoy sex, but don't become obsessed with it.  Except for brief periods in your adolescence, youth, middle age, and old age.

Contemplate everything's opposite.

Keep your childish self alive.

Grow something.

Walk down different streets.

Backwards.

Dig a hole with a shovel.

Extirpate all traces of personal ambitiousness.

Don't use the word extirpate too often.

Be calm in a crisis.  The more critical the situation, the calmer you should be.

Do not exclaim, "Isn't technology wonderful!"

Learn how to stretch your muscles.  Stretch them every day.

Do not practice cannibalism.

Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do anything to make it impossible.